IDENTITY

Do you know who you are? Do you know your true identity? It's ok most people do not. This is the reason we accept things we do not deserve, go to a job we despise, settle for underpayment, are over worked. This is why we have feelings of unfulfillment. This is why we do not pursue our dreams. We do not understand who we really are as an individual. We do not know our IDENTITY. Who am I? What was I created for?

"To fulfill your purpose, you must first know and celebrate your identity!" - T.D. Jakes

If you think about your mind and spirit for a moment, it represents a house. You have a foundation, which is your beliefs, your morals, your character, your truth about yourself and life. You have walls, which are your boundaries, your interactions between yourself and others. How you treat others, and how you treat other people. Then you have a roof, the Glass Ceiling, or the limitations you have given yourself, or not given yourself. The foundation is the beginning point in knowing your true identity. For you to know who you are you have to address your core, your mind, you have to self-analyze without punishment, criticism, or judgment on yourself. You have to take a complete unbiased inventory on yourself.

What does this mean? How do I do this? You write it down, you draw it out, you meditate on it, you concentrate on it. Then you list it. everything. Nothing goes unsaid, or left out.

You start opening up your mind to self awareness, acknowledging the pains, the shames, the happiness, the joy, the anger, and the heaviness. You start with what you believe, what you hold true. Then go to what means the most to you, then what you do not. What is important, and what is not. What makes you angry and does not. The list goes on. But, you need to recognized how you talk to yourself in the process. How do you respond to the questions you are asking yourself? This will guide you to the next step on how to deal with negative and shameful thought patterns, and self talk.

We get so wrapped up in what is socially accepted that we forget to follow ourselves. We are constantly looking for the next best thing; buying into materialism, and appearance trends that is supposed to fulfill our happiness. Well, I am here to tell you that it is a lie. It is all a lie. Dealing with your fulfillment has to do with your mind and spirit, the things of this world are made of substance. They do not mix. Only a divine subject can fulfill a divine subject. So, you need purpose fulfillment to make you happy, not substance. You are a divine being created by the Ultimate Divine Being: GOD himself.

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." - 1 John 3: 1

God is love, and we are a reflection of God, so God's love is in us. How we love ourselves is where our identity is. The way we care and love ourselves is ultimately a reflection of God's love for us. We have to be patient, and kind with ourselves, not destructive or condemning. We have to remember that love is not an emotion, it is a choice we make. To do something despite of how we feel at the time. We need to start spending time with ourselves so that way we can get to know ourselves.

This is such a hard concept for me to grasp. Until recently, I hated being alone, and when I had to be alone, I ran away from my self. Constantly listening to music, or finding ways to be around people, or talking to some one else, obsessed with any kind of distraction I could find. My excuse was that I was being spontaneous, down for anything anytime. When I had to be alone my anxiety ran wild, I would break out in clammy sweat, I would chew my nails desperately wanting to be somewhere else. Then depression crept in, making me feel guilty for being alone. That it was a bad thing that I could not keep in company with others. I told myself all the time, see no one likes you, they never stick around, you're not even worth it. I was ashamed of who I was, where I come from, talking to myself as though I was worthless.

All of this is a lie, It's all Lies. I was introduced to myself recently, and she is actually quite beautiful, smart, witty, a little sassy, and loyal, oh and quite passionate. She loves deeply, and craves truth, and stands behind justice. Yes, she makes mistakes, but she is learning, I found out that my patience isn't as deep as what I thought it is, and I now need to work on the part of myself that has been locked away my whole life. This part of me that has been oppressed, chained up, and bound. Now has been set free, and is running wild. It is all overwhelming, but it is good. It is a beautiful process. I am so proud now of who I am, where I come from, and I am determined to get where I am going.

When this type of freedom hits you, you no longer feel obligated to anyone or anything. You begin to see yourself as enough, the way God sees you. Just you and God is all you need. No matter what happens. When you see what it could be like without it all, you have a slight understanding of the pain to lose it, but because you know that you are enough, the willingness to go through that is greater than the fear of pain. Your confidence and love in yourself and trust in God defeats the fear of the unknown and the pain of loss. There is this sense of knowing that no matter what I will make it, and there will be a path for me to take. I am going to be ok. You are going to make it, and you are going to be ok.

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." - Song of Songs 4:7

XO Em